Hello Tuesday!
Hello Tuesday!
Hope all of you readers had a wonderful and relaxing three day weekend!
Mine was both productive and relaxing... my favorite kind of weekend. I did everything on my list (see here) and more!
Stephen and I met with the Pastor on Saturday to discuss a compatability quiz we had taken through the PREPARE/ ENRICH program and wow, very interesting! It turns out we are actually very compatible, but there are definitly a few areas of our relationship that we have room for growth. This was the first time Stephen and I had ever talked about our relationship strengths and weaknesses with a third party, and I have to say it was VERY helpful. I think that we really learned some things about eachother that we didn't take the time to think about previously.
The pastor had also given us a book called "Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs". The concept of the book seems so simple, but really made me take the time to think about my words and actions and how they can directly affect Stephen in a positive or negative way.
The main concept of the book is that Women need to be Loved and Men need to feel Respect. Without Love, She Reacts and Without Respect, He Reacts. This can put your relationship on a crazy cycle that can be very difficult to break.
While we were in the car driving back to Dallas, Stephen and I were discussing the book and how it could help our relationship. One of the things he said was that sometimes when I want him to do something, I come at him from a negative place..."Did you ever get those addresses I asked you for a week ago??" or "You still haven't finished our wedding website???". He said that he didn't realize, but that does make him feel disrespected which can make him react in an un-loving way. He'll usually shrugs his shoulders and say he has been busy in a very defensive and grumpy manner. That always makes me more upset (Why are you grouchy? You are the one who isn't helping me???) which can set off a "crazy cycle".
So, just by asking him for something in a more positive manner, "Hey babe, were you able to get the addresses we are missing?" or "How is the wedding website coming... Need any help?" I can still get the answers I am looking for without making him feel like he has failed or been disrespected.
This whole process of pre-marriage counseling has been really great for our relationship and helping us get started on a solid foundation. We have been together for six years, so sometimes it can seem like "Meh, we've got this..." but really there are always new things you can learn.
In other news, I picked up my dress from Alfred Angelo and it fits! So excited and it looked so gorgeous when I tried it on again that I started tearing up. Weddings can be so emotional! We also visited our venue and planned out the layout for the reception. We picked up a menu from the restaurant we are having the rehearsal dinner at so that we could pick out a few select menu items for our guests to choose from (can't have them ordering $30.00 steaks, we are on a budget here people). I am going to design a super cute wedding menu to give out instead of the restaurant menu. My family and I made it to the lake on Saturday and it was GORGEOUS! I absolutely love being on a boat and feeling the sunshine and wind in my hair. Nothing better! Church and Lunch on Sunday, then a four hour drive back to Dallas and a Memorial Day BBQ at a friend's house. Food was amazing and friends were great company. Needless to say, I was absolutely beat yesterday and ended up laying on the couch watching a "Bethany Ever After" marathon all day long. Best day ever!
Hope your weekend was productive and restful too! I'll be back tomorrow with a tutorial on how to make DIY Polka Dotted Luminaries.
XOXO,
Ashley
Hope all of you readers had a wonderful and relaxing three day weekend!
Mine was both productive and relaxing... my favorite kind of weekend. I did everything on my list (see here) and more!
Stephen and I met with the Pastor on Saturday to discuss a compatability quiz we had taken through the PREPARE/ ENRICH program and wow, very interesting! It turns out we are actually very compatible, but there are definitly a few areas of our relationship that we have room for growth. This was the first time Stephen and I had ever talked about our relationship strengths and weaknesses with a third party, and I have to say it was VERY helpful. I think that we really learned some things about eachother that we didn't take the time to think about previously.
The pastor had also given us a book called "Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires, The Respect He Desperately Needs". The concept of the book seems so simple, but really made me take the time to think about my words and actions and how they can directly affect Stephen in a positive or negative way.
The main concept of the book is that Women need to be Loved and Men need to feel Respect. Without Love, She Reacts and Without Respect, He Reacts. This can put your relationship on a crazy cycle that can be very difficult to break.
While we were in the car driving back to Dallas, Stephen and I were discussing the book and how it could help our relationship. One of the things he said was that sometimes when I want him to do something, I come at him from a negative place..."Did you ever get those addresses I asked you for a week ago??" or "You still haven't finished our wedding website???". He said that he didn't realize, but that does make him feel disrespected which can make him react in an un-loving way. He'll usually shrugs his shoulders and say he has been busy in a very defensive and grumpy manner. That always makes me more upset (Why are you grouchy? You are the one who isn't helping me???) which can set off a "crazy cycle".
So, just by asking him for something in a more positive manner, "Hey babe, were you able to get the addresses we are missing?" or "How is the wedding website coming... Need any help?" I can still get the answers I am looking for without making him feel like he has failed or been disrespected.
This whole process of pre-marriage counseling has been really great for our relationship and helping us get started on a solid foundation. We have been together for six years, so sometimes it can seem like "Meh, we've got this..." but really there are always new things you can learn.
In other news, I picked up my dress from Alfred Angelo and it fits! So excited and it looked so gorgeous when I tried it on again that I started tearing up. Weddings can be so emotional! We also visited our venue and planned out the layout for the reception. We picked up a menu from the restaurant we are having the rehearsal dinner at so that we could pick out a few select menu items for our guests to choose from (can't have them ordering $30.00 steaks, we are on a budget here people). I am going to design a super cute wedding menu to give out instead of the restaurant menu. My family and I made it to the lake on Saturday and it was GORGEOUS! I absolutely love being on a boat and feeling the sunshine and wind in my hair. Nothing better! Church and Lunch on Sunday, then a four hour drive back to Dallas and a Memorial Day BBQ at a friend's house. Food was amazing and friends were great company. Needless to say, I was absolutely beat yesterday and ended up laying on the couch watching a "Bethany Ever After" marathon all day long. Best day ever!
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| Sneak Peak of Our Wedding Invitations |
Hope your weekend was productive and restful too! I'll be back tomorrow with a tutorial on how to make DIY Polka Dotted Luminaries.
XOXO,
Ashley
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